


the most dangerous thing is to love

by brilliantbanshee



Series: Season 2 Codas [1]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:49:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28887126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brilliantbanshee/pseuds/brilliantbanshee
Summary: Love has many advantages, but it also comes with dangers and worry as Carlos is reminded of all too frequently. (Spoilers for 2x01)
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Series: Season 2 Codas [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2169987
Comments: 7
Kudos: 147
Collections: 9-1-1 Lone Star ▶ Carlos Reyes / Tyler Kennedy "TK" Strand





	the most dangerous thing is to love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tiniestmite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiniestmite/gifts).



> [Jamie](https://officereyes.tumblr.com/) had a thought about Carlos being worried when he was called to provide backup for the 126 and then relieved when he showed up to see that TK was fine, leading to the banter scene we saw. I had this idea as a result, and you got this fic. 
> 
> Title is from "Achilles Come Down" by Gangs of Youth

One of the things Carlos Reyes prides himself on most is his composure. He has always been able to keep up the front; to mask his true feelings behind a veil of calm. It has served him well in dealing with all sorts of people he would truly enjoy punching in the face, and it has saved his sanity when seeing the evils of the world affecting good people becomes too much. There have only been a few moments in which the veil has shifted — in which his fears had nearly overtaken him, and they all had to do with TK Strand. 

It’s never an overt feeling, when it happens. It’s always a small, intrusive thought; a fear whispering in his ear, reminding him of what he stands to lose. Because that is the downside of having this love, he is reminded: there is so much more to lose. 

When dispatch radios him for backup, speaking the words _Ladder 126 is under fire, requires immediate backup_ into existence, he can feel it shift again. The fear is cold, but familiar. It brings him back nearly 5 months to the last time he almost lost him, it brings him back to this morning where he and TK had parted ways in his kitchen — sharing coffee and a kiss before they headed out into the world for the day. 

Now as he speeds to their location, he doesn’t know what to think. His composure is still intact — it needs to be, everything might just depend on it — but his mind is racing. It rotates through wry humor: his firefighter boyfriend could be shot again, what are the fucking odds? It takes a spin through logic: they’re all smart, they’ll know to take cover (at the very least, he trusts Paul). 

But it always falls back to one central thought: he could lose him, and he can’t. He just can’t. 

He pulls up at the scene, body nearly vibrating with adrenaline, and what he sees is so incongruous, it almost topples him. He had been expecting chaos and fear, but instead they’re all safe and laughing. Marjan and Mateo walk by with a masked and gloved figure between them, Paul following behind holding a crossbow pointed deliberately at the ground. 

Just past them is TK, laughing with Judd as he rolls up a hose — perfectly safe and alive, and in one piece. Other officers are rushing forward, and Carlos is more than happy to let them. He gives himself a moment to breathe, to ride the adrenaline crash. TK is fine, he’s okay. 

He pushes the lingering reminders of the last time to the back of his head — those are moments that can stay in his nightmares for today. TK is fine, his teammates are fine. He takes a deep breath and turns his attention to the scene before him, finding his boyfriend’s gaze in the crowd. He shoots him a wide, cocky grin with a look of mischief in his eyes that Carlos can see even from this distance, and he smiles. 

When he runs into TK by the side of the firetruck, he blurts out the first thing that pops into his head, “You know, if you get yourself shot again you’re never making it out of the doghouse.” TK grins and serves back a response, not even missing a beat because that’s what they do. But there is so much more beneath their banter and, and he thinks TK knows that. 

He does love it; he loves every moment they get to breathe the same air. When TK holds his gaze before disappearing around the corner, there is an understanding that passes between them and when Carlos turns away, to go on with his day, he carries that with him. This fear is not new, and it’s going away. It is a part of what they have; a byproduct of the jobs they work and the lives they both live. Maybe if they didn’t have this, Carlos would have less stress in his life, and wouldn’t have to confront these fears quite so often. But he dismisses that thought in an instant. 

What he and TK have is worth everything to him. He can stand a little worry. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](https://marjansmarwani.tumblr.com/)


End file.
